Director: Paul W.S. Anderson
Writers: Janet Scott Batchler (screenplay), Lee Batchler (screenplay)
Stars: Kit Harington, Emily Browning, Kiefer Sutherland

Synopsis: A slave-turned-gladiator finds himself in a race against time to save his true love, who has been betrothed to a corrupt Roman Senator. As Mount Vesuvius erupts, he must fight to save his beloved as Pompeii crumbles around him.

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DIRECTION
Today is the day where you know you will finally get a kiss from your significant other. No matter if you’re watching Scooby-Doo or playing some D&D (Dungeons and Dragons), they send you photos of their lips several times in anticipation of the first time. All you have to do is get through shopping with mom and you will have the best kiss of your life. This same scenario is the best way to sum up Pompeii. If Pompeii was a Pokémon, it would be Ditto as this movie has so much borrowed material, the only original idea was that Mount Vesuvius erupts. Pompeii, of course, was going to be a visual spectacle and there is nobody better than handling the $100 million budget than director Paul W.S. Anderson. The last hour of the film was fantastic, as that is when we start getting more stumbling from the volcano. Once she really erupts it wreaks havoc through Pompeii with its blazing lava and ash. Anderson, and his fantastic team of specialists clearly did their homework on volcano eruptions as at times it was hard to discern if we were watching actual footage at some points.

Grade: C

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SCRIPT
Pompeii tells the story of Milo (Kit Harrington) the last member of a Celtic tribe of equestrians who are massacred by Roman soldiers led by Corvus (Kiefer Sutherland) and his right-hand man Proculus (Sasha Roiz). Milo was able to escape at the young age of 6, by playing dead. As if a 6-year-not-named-Jennifer-Lawrence-old could pull that off, but he is later and enslaved. Over the years, Milo has turned into a killing machine with killer abs and hair so amazing that even Head and Shoulders is in awe. Milo’s talent is held back in Londinium as he is able to kill opponents quicker than Seattle’s first points against the Broncos. Milo meets Cassia (Emily Browning) on the road to Pompeii, bare-handedly breaking a horse’s neck. What say you Peta? Once in Pompeii, Milo meets the rest of the essential cast members Atticus (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje), and of course Mount Vesuvius (CGI). Prior to the volcanic eruption, we have to suffer through poor dialogue and forced relationships. Milo, as he is traveling to Pompeii, comes across the lovely Cassia and once her horse is suffering, Milo reaches out to help. Upon first contact, Cassia and Milo seem to have an attraction and just goes to show you that no matter the time era, women are attracted to long hair and amazing abs, and scruffy-yet-well-trimmed facial hair. Most of the movie is taken up by scene after scene of gladiatorial games, but when Milo isn’t fighting, he’s sharing passionate looks with Cassia. The relationship was pointless to me because they never really said anything to each other so how could they be in Love? Of course it is a movie so there always has to be a romantic interest (studios aren’t paying beautiful women for nothing).

Grade: D

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RELATED: The Lego Movie Review

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PERFORMANCES
Nobody really stood out in the film as for as performance, in fact the best performance was the volcano. The performances were a bad result of the dialogue and repetitive story line. Kiefer Sutherland was arguably miscast in this role and isn’t very believable as the Roman Senator. Harrington was fine and great in the action sequences but again, the dialogue was very weak.

Grade: D

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SCORE
As saddening as the volcano erupted was, it was nice to have a great musical composition by Clinton Shorter. If you have a city getting destroyed, beautiful music is the way I would want to die. Shorter uses a great theme that really pounds heavy in some moments and sets the tone for the disaster we experience.

Grade: B

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IS IT WORTH IT?
Anderson, stuck to a formula that would even make Tyler Perry cringe. No matter the circumstance, it was clear that Atticus, Milo and Cassia would be the last to die as every lava eruption and boulder would just miss them that reminded me of the rocket car scene at the end of “Hooper” with Burt Reynolds. As I allotted to earlier, Anderson would always zoom in on Mount Vesuvius to prepare us much like a teenage couple prepares for that first kiss. As saddening as the volcano erupted was, it was nice to have a great musical composition by Clinton Shorter. If you have a city getting destroyed, beautiful music is the way I would want to die. All in All, Pompeii is a very predictable movie that is entirely too dull and boring to keep you entertained till the last burst-no pun intended. The Lego Movie, how does it feel to be on top again for another week, “It’s AWWWWEEEEESSSSOOOMMMMEEE”

Overall Grade: D

Director: Akiva Goldsman
Writers: Akiva Goldsman (screenplay), Mark Helprin (novel)
Stars: Colin Farrell, Jessica Brown Findlay, Russell Crowe

Synopsis: The story of a privileged girl and a charismatic boy whose instant desire sparks a love affair made only more reckless by parents trying to keep them apart.

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DIRECTION
Here is the initial reaction you’ll have to Akiva Goldsman’s Winter’s Tale…

And as the movie goes along…

Nothing make sense, the CGI is terrible and this pretty much sums everything up…

Grade: F

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SCRIPT
Oh dear God, I hope the book is better than the screenplay…

This is seriously some of the worst writing I’ve ever seen. You don’t buy into anything for a second. The fantasy elements are forced, the pacing is terrible and nothing seems genuine. Everything is so contrived and ridiculous that it’s almost laughable. Again…

Grade: F

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RELATED: The Lego Movie Review

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PERFORMANCES
Colin Farrell is not bad at all but his character is so badly written that it’s hard to believe anything he does. Jessica Brown Findlay is pretty good and probably the most believable of anyone. And Russell Crowe…

I love Russell Crowe and what he was doing in this movie is a head scratcher. To this credit though, his character, like all the others, is written really bad. And then there’s Will Smith…

Will Smith owes us all an apology. He keeps choosing terrible projects to be a part of and what in the world was he doing here? His scenes are terrible and almost made me cry. This is an actor I used to love a lot…

Grade: C

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SCORE
Finally…

Something worth talking about. The score was done by Rupert Gregson-Williams and his mentor Hans Zimmer. Much like The Counselor last year, this is an awful film with a really beautiful score. It’s the only saving grace for this movie and it’s the only thing that kept my interest. The are some action-like moments that Zimmer and co. just nail but the majority of the film was a laid back orchestral style score that was absolutely gorgeous. So, thank you Hans. Without you, I would’ve had nothing.

Grade: A-

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FINAL THOUGHTS
This movie is absolutely absurd on all levels. I can believe in flying horses, not aging over time and a battle between angels and demons when it’s used right and makes sense for the story. In this case, we have all those elements with no foundation to support them and it all comes across on screen as laughable. Thank you Hans Zimmer for giving me something.

All in all, I’d rather watch the entire Twilight saga 100x over before seeing this film ever again.

Overall Grade: F

Director: Shana Feste
Writers: Shana Feste, Joshua Safran
Stars: Gabriella Wilde, Alex Pettyfer, Bruce Greenwood

Synopsis: The story of a privileged girl and a charismatic boy whose instant desire sparks a love affair made only more reckless by parents trying to keep them apart.

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INTRO
Valentine’s Day is here (fellas I hope you are ready) and this weekend the movies should be very busy we three movies that gives us three different love stories, with two of them being remakes. In one corner, we have the classic remake of Endless Love. Much like the reptiles that I keep, I come off as having a cold-heart, in reality I sometimes do enjoy a nice love story. Last year, About Time ended up being one of my Top 5 Movies of 2013. About Time was no where near perfect, but then again hardly any movie is; it was the message that resonated with me.

DIRECTION
Director Shana Feste and Co-Screenwriter Joshua Safran do a fantastic job of planting a formula and sticking to it (they must be Seattle Seahawk fans). Very often these love stories fail to keep the attention of Men but this film has a few jokes that work well and are not overdone. Another problem with these love stories is way too much affection. Endless Love did not have a single kiss between Jade and David until almost the half-way point which allowed more focus on the actual storyline. The film also shows that Love can change you or inspire you to do better while also illustrating that you should never be afraid to chase your dreams.

Grade: A

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SCRIPT
Endless Love tells the story of Jade Butterfield (Gabriella Wilde), a sheltered but privileged teen that becomes enthralled with David Elliot (Alex Pettyfer), a simple hard-working man with a cloudy past. Jade and David fall in love almost immediately and there love going gets stronger when Jade’s father Hugh (Bruce Greenwood) is hell bent on keeping them apart. The story is basic and has been used many times over. Feste and Safran quickly change the dynamic of this film within the first couple of minutes though, from what we are used to in these types of movies. Endless Love by no means avoids the usual cliché love story, but the flow of the story keeps you enough to overcome all the affection.

Grade: B

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RELATED: The Lego Movie Review

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PERFORMANCES
Neither Wilde nor Pettyfer are ideal actors for this role as they are too much like Ken and Barbie. However, they do work together very well to make the film enjoyable. Joely Richardson tried very hard to expand her role of Jade’s mother, Ann. Greenwood played an excellent Hugh while Robert Patrick played David’s dad very well in his limited role.

Grade: C

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SCORE
The score featured music by Florence and The Machine and Elli Goluding. As great as the soundtrack was, I cannot grade it very high as they did not even play the Endless Love song. The Endless Love song was the cornerstone of the first film and in fact it is one of the best songs I have ever heard. Not having this song play is like having Jeopardy with no sound.

Grade: D

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IS IT WORTH IT?
Needless to say, based on the trailer I assumed this movie was going to be a complete disaster, and although not as good as About Time, it is not a bad movie. Having already seen RoboCop, About Last Night and Winter’s Tale, my clear choice this weekend for any movie goers would be Endless Love.

Overall Grade: C

Director: José Padilha
Writers: Joshua Zetumer (screenplay), Edward Neumeier
Stars: Joel Kinnaman, Gary Oldman, Michael Keaton, Abbie Cornish

Synopsis: In 2028 Detroit, when Alex Murphy (Joel Kinnaman) – a loving husband, father and good cop – is critically injured in the line of duty, the multinational conglomerate OmniCorp sees their chance for a part-man, part-robot police officer.

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INTRO
In 1987, Paul Verhoeven introduced us to RoboCop. Since its initial production two sequels were made in 1990 and 1993 respectively. In typical Hollywood fashion, they choose to remake a classic. José Padilha is the man in charge of rebranding RoboCop in 2014.

DIRECTION
Within the first 10 minutes of the film, Director José Padilha clearly shows us that this film is not trying to upstage big brother, but rather please him. One thing that auidences will notice is that this film is more focused on political ideologies and technology control rather than action. The reason for RoboCop’s creation in this film is rooted in politics. OmniCorp CEO Raymond Sellars plan is to create a man-machine which, through the endorsement of pro-robot media will convince voters and politicians to finally allow Robot enforcers in the USA. Padilha rather than focusing on one concept, focuses on several themes which were too rushed. The film has a rough last act as it is very rushed with poor camera shots and rushed ending. One obvious difference from the original is the choice to make the suit Jet Black. Seeing the Jet Black suit was refreshing because it gave the film its own identity and of course the suit was amazing. One thing I did not like was the poor use of the Detroit City. Taken place in a futuristic Detroit, we did not really get any glimpse of the city as the best scenes in the film took place in other parts of the world.

Grade: C

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SCRIPT
The story itself, as I stated above, is not really about RoboCop, but rather how OmniCorp is trying to be a financial juggernaut and RoboCop is merely the “Spider-Man” of Detroit. What I really liked about the story is that there is that battle between the Man and the Machine. Alex Murphy in this film deals a lot with his emotions especially his love for his family and it is nice to see that even love can override a computer. The film has more scenes dealing with political jargon than it does actual action and for me it was a huge distraction. The action scenes were nothing special and in fact those who play Call of Duty or Halo are going to find the shooting scenes very comicial.

Grade: B

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MOVIE REVIEW: The Lego Movie

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PERFORMANCES
The saving grace of this film is the great acting by all the main actors. Joel Kinnaman played Alex Murphy well and RoboCop even better. Gary Oldman played Dr. Norton, the man responsible for creating the RoboCop suit also very extremely well. Michael Keaton, played a very convincing Raymond Sellars. The political newscaster was played by none other than Samuel L. Jackson and I always enjoy everything he is in.

Grade: A

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SCORE
Pedro Bromfman did the score and his efforts were very weak as the score was very repetitive and bland. There were moments when I expected a Cloud Atlas like soundtrack but no it thought that by being louder will draw more emotion. It did not work.

Grade: D

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IS IT WORTH IT?
RoboCop is going to be a hard sell because the movie was not bad, but it was not great either. The original film was done so much better on all cylinders and unlike most other remakes I am sure most people have seen the original in some regard. I answer the big question on whether it’s worth it or not? The movie to me was enjoyable, but it is not worth more than the matinee ticket price.

Overall Grade: C

Director: Phil Lord and Chris Miller
Writers: Phil Lord and Chris Miller
Stars: Chris Pratt, Will Ferrell, Elizabeth Banks, Will Arnett, Nick Offerman, Alison Brie, Charlie Day, Liam Neeson, and Morgan Freeman

Synopsis: An ordinary LEGO minifigure, mistakenly thought to be the extraordinary MasterBuilder, is recruited to join a quest to stop an evil LEGO tyrant from gluing the universe together.

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INTRO
Everyone has had to encounter with LEGOS in their lifetime. When I was a kid I always enjoyed playing with LEGOS because it always allowed you to use your imagination and creativity. As the years went we hardly have any toys that are not electronic or digital. LEGO always stayed with their brand image and expanded to video games and various print sources. The LEGO Company has finally decided to construct a feature length film and right away I knew this would be a brick of a good time.

DIRECTION
Directors Phil Lord and Chris Miller deliver a superb film that bridges the film so every LEGO lover young or old will find enjoyment out of the film. Lord and Miller are successful because they bring us the imagination of a 9 year old with humor that everyone can enjoy. Any one that builds Legos knows that there are those that build by Instruction and those that build by creativity. Lord and Miller must have been Lego kids because those two styles are prevalent in the film and it makes you appreciate the other one. Another challenge that the directors faced was the visuals. Most of the film is CGI of course, however it is shot so smoothly that it seems like it is almost stop-motion.

Grade: A

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SCRIPT
Lord and Miller also wrote the script for The Lego Movie and for me, it was impressive how well they built the Lego culture into this film. The fact that Emmett is a boring mini-figure at first, as any Lego builder knows a construction worker is the lowest brick on the Lego system. Kids and some adults marveled at Batman and other high up Lego characters. As for the story itself, it is very easy to follow and deals with Emmett who is recruited to stop the evil Lord Business. In reviewing movies of this nature I usually see how the target audience is reacting, and in this case kids were excited and understood what was going on. If the kids are happy, parents are happy, everyone is happy.

Grade: A+

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MOVIE REVIEW: The Monuments Men

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PERFORMANCES
Chris Pratt does an excellent job voicing Emmett, I believe that the movie will not be as good if it was not for him. The only gripe I have about the characters is there was no love for Olivia and Stephanie of Lego Friends. Elizabeth Banks voiced Wyldstyle perfectly so the lack of many female characters was not a big deal. Every other role was voiced with no issues from me.

Grade: A

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SCORE
If you do not go home singing Everything is Awesome, than I cannot help you. Mark Mothersbaugh was the man in charge of bringing music to Lego’s. The challenge of these types of films is being creative in your selection and Mothersbaugh makes great choices and by far, the Everything is Awesome song was a fan favorite.

Grade: A

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IS IT WORTH IT?
Absolutely this film is worth it. The animation is brilliant, the humor is fun and it’s everything you’d want from this world. Definitely go see this movie.

Overall Grade: A