Thursday, March 28, 2024

Movie Review: Pompeii Brings Fire But Not Much Else


Director: Paul W.S. Anderson
Writers: Janet Scott Batchler (screenplay), Lee Batchler (screenplay)
Stars: Kit Harington, Emily Browning, Kiefer Sutherland

Synopsis: A slave-turned-gladiator finds himself in a race against time to save his true love, who has been betrothed to a corrupt Roman Senator. As Mount Vesuvius erupts, he must fight to save his beloved as Pompeii crumbles around him.

[/info]

DIRECTION
Today is the day where you know you will finally get a kiss from your significant other. No matter if you’re watching Scooby-Doo or playing some D&D (Dungeons and Dragons), they send you photos of their lips several times in anticipation of the first time. All you have to do is get through shopping with mom and you will have the best kiss of your life. This same scenario is the best way to sum up Pompeii. If Pompeii was a Pokémon, it would be Ditto as this movie has so much borrowed material, the only original idea was that Mount Vesuvius erupts. Pompeii, of course, was going to be a visual spectacle and there is nobody better than handling the $100 million budget than director Paul W.S. Anderson. The last hour of the film was fantastic, as that is when we start getting more stumbling from the volcano. Once she really erupts it wreaks havoc through Pompeii with its blazing lava and ash. Anderson, and his fantastic team of specialists clearly did their homework on volcano eruptions as at times it was hard to discern if we were watching actual footage at some points.

Grade: C

[divider]

SCRIPT
Pompeii tells the story of Milo (Kit Harrington) the last member of a Celtic tribe of equestrians who are massacred by Roman soldiers led by Corvus (Kiefer Sutherland) and his right-hand man Proculus (Sasha Roiz). Milo was able to escape at the young age of 6, by playing dead. As if a 6-year-not-named-Jennifer-Lawrence-old could pull that off, but he is later and enslaved. Over the years, Milo has turned into a killing machine with killer abs and hair so amazing that even Head and Shoulders is in awe. Milo’s talent is held back in Londinium as he is able to kill opponents quicker than Seattle’s first points against the Broncos. Milo meets Cassia (Emily Browning) on the road to Pompeii, bare-handedly breaking a horse’s neck. What say you Peta? Once in Pompeii, Milo meets the rest of the essential cast members Atticus (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje), and of course Mount Vesuvius (CGI). Prior to the volcanic eruption, we have to suffer through poor dialogue and forced relationships. Milo, as he is traveling to Pompeii, comes across the lovely Cassia and once her horse is suffering, Milo reaches out to help. Upon first contact, Cassia and Milo seem to have an attraction and just goes to show you that no matter the time era, women are attracted to long hair and amazing abs, and scruffy-yet-well-trimmed facial hair. Most of the movie is taken up by scene after scene of gladiatorial games, but when Milo isn’t fighting, he’s sharing passionate looks with Cassia. The relationship was pointless to me because they never really said anything to each other so how could they be in Love? Of course it is a movie so there always has to be a romantic interest (studios aren’t paying beautiful women for nothing).

Grade: D

[divider]

RELATED: The Lego Movie Review

[divider]

PERFORMANCES
Nobody really stood out in the film as for as performance, in fact the best performance was the volcano. The performances were a bad result of the dialogue and repetitive story line. Kiefer Sutherland was arguably miscast in this role and isn’t very believable as the Roman Senator. Harrington was fine and great in the action sequences but again, the dialogue was very weak.

Grade: D

[divider]

SCORE
As saddening as the volcano erupted was, it was nice to have a great musical composition by Clinton Shorter. If you have a city getting destroyed, beautiful music is the way I would want to die. Shorter uses a great theme that really pounds heavy in some moments and sets the tone for the disaster we experience.

Grade: B

[divider]

IS IT WORTH IT?
Anderson, stuck to a formula that would even make Tyler Perry cringe. No matter the circumstance, it was clear that Atticus, Milo and Cassia would be the last to die as every lava eruption and boulder would just miss them that reminded me of the rocket car scene at the end of “Hooper” with Burt Reynolds. As I allotted to earlier, Anderson would always zoom in on Mount Vesuvius to prepare us much like a teenage couple prepares for that first kiss. As saddening as the volcano erupted was, it was nice to have a great musical composition by Clinton Shorter. If you have a city getting destroyed, beautiful music is the way I would want to die. All in All, Pompeii is a very predictable movie that is entirely too dull and boring to keep you entertained till the last burst-no pun intended. The Lego Movie, how does it feel to be on top again for another week, “It’s AWWWWEEEEESSSSOOOMMMMEEE”

Overall Grade: D

James Shaw
James Shawhttps://soundcloud.com/cinemahub
I watch a lot of films and I make people laugh so why not make reviews comedic. My passion for film began at a young age and has never left me. Follow me on Twitter @ComedicCritic

Similar Articles

Comments

SPONSOR

spot_img

SUBSCRIBE

spot_img

FOLLOW US

1,902FansLike
1,070FollowersFollow
19,997FollowersFollow
4,640SubscribersSubscribe
Advertisment

MOST POPULAR