Director: Trey Edward Shults
Writers: Trey Edward Shults
Stars: Joel Edgerton, Christopher Abbott, Carmen Ejogo, Riley Keough

Synopsis: Secure within a desolate home as an unnatural threat terrorizes the world, a man has established a tenuous domestic order with his wife and son, but this will soon be put to test when a desperate young family arrives seeking refuge.

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I’ll be honest; initially after seeing It Comes At Night I was perplexed at what I saw and was unsure of what to make of it. The film weighed on me all night, and after wrestling with it for awhile, things became apparent. Trey Edward Shults has created an experience that will cause nightmares. If Shults does not cause your mind fear, then you must have skipped out on Krisha last year. Shults’ style latches onto our emotions like a vise grip, and in It Comes At Night the grip is tightening.

It Comes At Night is one of those rare movies that will make you ask questions about what was going on, and you’re never exactly sure where it’s going to go. It’s a testament to Schults’ style that varying opinions will come from this film. It Comes At Night is not only a viscerally gripping horror film aesthetically, but an astounding character study that touches on different emotional and physical psyches of a person facing the end of civilization. The varying perspectives offer an extensive look into the dark recesses of our minds where we start to question the every action in the film.

Travis (Kelvin Harrison, Jr.) lives with lives in a secured and heavily armed home with his parents Paul and Sarah (Joel Edgerton and Carmen Ejogo.) The opening sequence is fantastic and shows the great lengths Paul is willing to go through to protect his family. The film plays out like most movies in this setting; we see the day-to-day life of this family, and with the limited dialogue between them all we can feel the tension start to creep into our skin. One terrifying night things start change and eventually it leads them into meeting another young family. The addition to the household adds more paranoia and pairing that with an eerie score makes things interesting.

The Red Door is featured heavily in the promotion of this film and rightfully so as it’s the only way in and out of this boarded up house. Most of the intense scenes happen in the narrow hallway in front of it. If you’re expecting jump scares or zombies, you will be disappointed. In terms of pace and character, It Comes At Night is more in line with The Witch – another A24 horror film – that relies on gripping tension that methodically builds over the course of the film.

Without spoiling too much, the film is at its most visceral in nightmare sequences that frequently appear throughout the film. These dreams have a different feel and look to them to distinguish them from the main story. It’s the paranoia manifesting itself in Travis’ real-life that makes those scenes uncomfortable to watch.

Taking place in the woods is scary enough, Schults ups the ante by having light coming from lanterns or lights mounted to guns. The barely illuminated scenes will constantly have you peeking into the darkness wondering what’s going to happen next.

What lengths are you willing to go to protect your family? Not giving us much about the characters pays off for Schults in the second act. There is an event happens that causes a rift between the two families; whose side do we believe? The questions this film raises and how it forces these characters to react is quite fascinating.

It Comes At Night is another masterpiece for A24 and one that puts Trey Edward Schults as a major player in this genre.

Overall Grade: A

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Hear our podcast review on Episode 225, coming soon.

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Director: Joachim Rønning, Espen Sandberg
Writers: Jeff Nathanson, Terry Rossio
Stars: Michael Fassbender, Katherine Waterston, Danny McBride, Billy Crudup

Synopsis: Captain Jack Sparrow searches for the trident of Poseidon while being pursued by an undead sea captain and his crew.

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Pirates of the Caribbean returns with its fifth installment and a minor reboot of cast with Kaya Scodelario and Brenton Thwaites joining the team.

Pirates of the Carribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales begins with young Henry Turner raising the sunken Flying Dutchman on which his father, Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) has been imprisoned. They have a brief bonding session, some plot is explained (Henry needs the Trident of Poseidon to free Will), then the Flying Dutchman is reclaimed by the sea and you Henry left without his dad again.

A caption: nine years later.

So Pirates starts (again) with an older Henry Turner (now played by Brenton Thwaites) as a rebellious crew member on a naval ship that accidentally sails into a hole in the cliffs called “The Devils Triangle” where young Turner meets Alfonso Salazar (Javier Bardem). Some more plot is explained (Salazar can only be freed from his curse when Jack Sparrow gives up his compass because Jack tricked him when he was living, and he now wants revenge), young Turner is cast adrift with orders to find Sparrow and steal his compass.

So Pirates starts (for a third time) with young female scientist Corinna (Kaya Scodelario) being charged with being a witch and sentenced to death in the town of St Maarten. She’s an orphan whose only possession is a book written by Gallileo (yes, that one) which he describes his search for the Trident of Poseidon in an elaborate code that has become known as the map that no man can read.

Anyway, Corinna makes a break for it during the opening of the town’s new bank, a ceremony that is interrupted by the discovery of a drunk Jack Sparrow in the bank’s vault, and cue a very large scale, imaginative and well executed chase sequence.

Jack’s crew desert him due to the failure of the robbery and he chooses to spend the days drunk in a pub, paying for his last bottle of rum with his magic compass, an act that releases Salazar and his crew from their cave in the cliffs and allows them to roam the seas again. Meanwhile young Turner is washed up on shore babbling something about the Trident of Poseidon and promptly arrested, but is freed by Corinna (who overhead the young man’s witterings when he was brought ashore) while she gets arrested and sentenced to death (again). Jack is arrested for something else (probably being annoying) and also locked up. Young Turner breaks into the prison to speak to her, ends up discovering Jack Sparrow who he informs of Salazar’s intention to exact revenge. Sparrow realises he’s given away his compass and unintentionally freed his Spanish nemesis so he too needs to find the Trident of Poseidon as it contains all the curses of the sea and, once found, could be used to break them. Aka more plot is explained.

So Pirates starts again with another elaborate, large scale, imaginative and well executed action sequence to break Jack and Corinna out of execution and the motley band of heroes can then head off in search of the Trident.

Then Geoffrey Rush turns up and decides he’ll help the Navy (led by David Wenham – looking lost) hunt down Jack and sets off in pursuit.

So Pirates starts again, but this time as a sort of chase movie.

By the way, there are no spoilers in the above – that’s the first forty minutes.

Dead Men Tell No Tales is a very handsome film to look at, the special effects and production design are extremely fine. It is also a very expensive film – it genuinely looks like a lot of money was spent making it. These are traits to be lauded. The script is better written than many films, everyone is trying hard. The music is very good.

However all of these good intentions are squandered on a film that is stiflingly, witheringly, perishingly dull. It’s SO boring. I cannot recall ever being so bored in a cinema. Usually even bad films have something to quicken the pulse, or raise a smile, or have, I dunno, some sense of entertainment. Shoot, even legendary turkey Gods of Egypt had a better sense of entertaining its audience than this one.

Part of the blame has to lie with the script which is surprisingly well written – as in it has a lively grasp of language and good use of English. The problem is that all the jokes and witty wordplay just fall utterly flat. The wit is sub-Carry-On level, but without the history and snide performances that provide the humor in that venerable series. The innuendo is cringe-worthy, below the level of the seaside-postcard and to cap it all this crushingly boring level of humor is delivered without any form of comedic punch or timing. Some of the jokes are even followed by someone on screen laughing, as if a cue for us, the audience, to do the same. I didn’t. Neither did my colleagues in the screening I attended. In a film that is thought of as a comedy adventure, this raised exactly two thin smiles.

The first half of the film contains two huge action sequences, which are elaborately staged, filled with excellent stunts and one hugely imaginative guillotine gag that is genuinely inspired. But they too fall utterly flat. Dull, boring, unexciting – every minute of action is played for laughs, but the film’s crushing lack of humor ensures that these sequences are not remotely funny. In the original ride, visitors are showing individual scenes loosely based on pirate history – pirates drinking in a bar, pirates storming a castle, and so on – and these action sequences feel like the same sort of thing. They don’t really serve the plot much, but they are at least interesting. It is telling that as the plot begins to overpower the film, these sort of sequences disappear to be replaced by death-by-CGI action sequences. It seems a crushing waste of the talents of the stunt team, the production designers and the directors who tried, really tried, to create these sequences and to make them fun and exciting, but ultimately other elements of the production have overwhelmed their best intentions.

The plot is stunningly complex and convoluted. The first film was largely nonsensical, but now the series’ convoluted mythology has tied itself in complicated knots, all of which needs to be explained. It, sadly, falls to the actors to routinely explain to the audience what is going on and why, which has the unfortunate effect of reduces the screen time available to serve character. All of the characters, with the exception of Sparrow, are very poorly served.

Which brings us to the other major problem with the film, the Depp in the room if you will: Captain Jack Sparrow. Sparrow was always an acquired taste, the over-the-top mannerisms and drunken acting- all slurring and mad hand flapping – entranced some viewers and alienated others. While he was largely well served by the first film (which I remember enjoying, if not exactly loving), he’s just became more and more annoying as the film series has continued. As the plots got more complicated, as the cast numbers ballooned, the audiences were expected to find in Depp and his performance all the film’s entertainment: look, here’s Jack scared of a monkey; look here’s Jack drunkenly running away from a fight; look here’s Jack trying, and failing, to romance a ‘lovely’. It’s a lot for such a shallow, irredeemable character to carry, and the film fails in this respect.

Jack Sparrow was always a pathetic individual, a useless pirate who somehow, often accidentally, always against his wishes, saves the day. The conflict of the first film was that Sparrow did not want to save the day but frequently ended up in situations where his innate decency ensured that he had to step up, even when he really didn’t want to. The conflict for the other characters was persuading Sparrow to assist them in their quest. This is fairly a complex, and interesting, dynamic. The hero of the first film was Orlando Bloom’s noble, resourceful Will Turner, not Johnny Depp’s shambolic, pathetic pirate. Depp was the light relief.

However Sparrow was the breakout character of the first film and for the next two sequels the writers had to covert their shambolic non-hero into the hero of a series of films that was rapidly expanding in scope. To do this, the writers have relied increasingly on odd mystical inventions: Jack has a magic compass, Jack is king of the pirates, voodoo priestesses, mystical witches and so on. Which has led directly to the series’ impossibly complicated mythology, and the lengthy exposition speeches from the cast that are required to explain it all.

Thing is, as the series’ plot disappears up its own wazoo with plot convolution atop convolution, and all the other characters exist solely to explain the story, all the film has left in its armory is to present Depp, as Sparrow, in the hope he is funny enough to carry the film. He isn’t, not by a long way. He simply drains the life out of the film. The character is too weak to carry the weight that is expected of it, the performance not good enough, the humor too thin. Everything Depp throws into the character, all those verbal and visual mannerisms, comes off as irritating. It is a tiresome, annoying performance.

How about the other actors? Well, it’s a mixed bag:
Bardem is adequate in a one-dimensional role which doesn’t really give the great actor much to work with. Salazar is a thin character and relies entirely on Jack Sparrow for his motivation, so see above for the problems that brings.

Geoffrey Rush is phoning in his performance, we’ve seen this hundreds of times before. Again the character only exists because of the plot, not the world. Barbossa, a clearly successful pirate, is apparently willing to risk all of his accrued wealth in pursuit of Sparrow for reasons that didn’t, to me at least, seem clear. So his character too relies on Jack Sparrow for his motivation so, er, see above.

Brenton Thwaites is bland, in the same way Orlando Bloom was bland in the original, so he’s actually a fine fit for this series. However his character also relies entirely on Jack Sparrow for his motivation so, …. oh you get the idea.

Kaya Scodelario is, by far, the best thing in this film. She is helped by her character not having to rely on Depp’s creation for her motivation and her story is an interesting one. Well, for this film it’s interesting, we have all seen this particular character arc many, many times before. However Scodeario is earnest, spunky, bright and perky and an appealing presence. She delivers her lines snappily and with purpose, even when they are nonsense exposition, and she is a bright star in an ocean of misery.

Despite all the above criticism I have yet to address the single worst offense in the film’s litany of failings: the celebrity cameo.

Ever since the first Pirates appeared, people noticed that Depp’s performance appeared to be modeled on The Rolling Stones’ Keith Richards. By the third film, Richards had been roped into the franchise and delivered a fun, if unintelligible, cameo in the second sequel. Some wonks thought that’s a fun thing the audience will be attracted by, and dragged him back for the fourth film. So it is that Paul McCartney appears in a cameo so cringy, so toe-curlingly awful, you’d think it was a Ricky Gervais sketch. McCartney, the least talented Beatle, a man who single handedly brought the London Olympics closing ceremony to a crashing halt, brings all of his talents to bear on his cameo – awful screechy scouse accent, gurning fizzog, lousy timing delivering weak jokes – he is so bad he actually makes Depp look good for a moment. It is a performance so irredeemably awful it makes David Beckham’s appearance in King Arthur look Oscar-worthy.

While I bring it up, King Arthur has a much better idea of what constitutes filmic entertainment than this. It is considerably more fun, far funnier, has much better pacing and plot, and for all of its wrongness, it is where I’d recommend you spend your money if you are in the market for a fantasy adventure flick this week.

An end credits sequence hints at yet more Pirates to come. Let’s hope not. This is the foul death rattle from a wheezing corpse of a franchise that should have been declared dead many, many years ago. This is a film so unsure of itself it is called something completely different in the UK to the rest of Europe for no apparent reason. It is a film that seems content to waste huge amounts of money and talent on an overly complex and unfunny script. It is film that seems content with not even attempting to deliver anything close to entertainment to its audience. It is a film where there is, literally, a shark jumping sequence. It is a film where the story revolves around a trident that, when eventually found, has two prongs.

Two prongs does not make a right. Let’s not mince around here, Disney wonks – Please, please, don’t make another one.

Overall Grade: D-

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Hear our podcast review on Episode 223:

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Director: Nacho Vigalondo
Writers: Nacho Vigalondo
Stars: Anne Hathaway, Jason Sudeikis, Tim Blake Nelson

Synopsis: Gloria is an out-of-work party girl forced to leave her life in New York City, and move back home. When reports surface that a giant creature is destroying Seoul, she gradually comes to the realization that she is somehow connected to this phenomenon.

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Colossal is a film from Spanish director Nacho Vigalondo. It stars Anne Hathaway as Gloria, a thirty-something wastrel who would much rather be out all night drinking with her friends than growing up, getting a job etc.

When she is dumped by her boyfriend (Dan Stevens, channeling Hugh Grant) and kicked out of the flat they share, she returns to her hometown and the rental house her parents own where she almost immediately meets old school friend Oscar (Jason Sudeikis) who not only has always had feelings for his old school friend, but also happens to own a bar and employs Gloria as a waitress.

One drunken evening ends with Gloria spending the night on a playground bench, the same night a giant monster appears over Seoul wreaking havoc. Gloria slowly begins to realize that she may have something to do with this event, in fact the monster may actually be her…

This is a strange film, let’s be frank – you ain’t going to see something like this again this, or any, year. It is like a Godzilla film seen through the prism of indy self-improvement films like Garden State. Or, if you prefer, something akin to Juno with a Kaiju.

It is a film that is a little unsure of itself, despite the brilliant idea at its core. It is not a comedy, though it is fitfully amusing and the presence of Sudeikis, nor is it a ‘growing up’ movie, instead it is closer to a monster movie, but the monsters involved are not necessarily the obvious green stompy thing flattening Seoul, more the monsters that live within each and every one of us. However it never quite pulls all of its themes and plot threads together satisfactorily, perhaps it never could, and its tone is a little uneven in places. This is a film that does not go where you think the premise might take it. This is a surprisingly dark film, with unapologetic, unlikable characters that are obsessed with nihilistic, destructive emotions and struggle to repress and control them when really they wish to embrace them.

Hathaway, as far away from her traditional elfin princess appearance as she’s ever been, is effective as Gloria, though we never really warm to her. It is a measure of the actress’s skill that we are clearly not meant to ever love and root for Gloria, but we do wish the best for her, we hope she makes the ‘right’ choices that would assist her goal to get her life under control even though we know, deep down, she’s hopeless. Peering out from under an unflattering fringe, hair unkempt and unbrushed, black eye make-up and cracked lips she bears an uncanny resemblance to UK TV presenter Claudia Winkleman. Hers is a performance of charm, darkness, obsession, addiction and cruelty.

The revelation is Sudeikis who initially delivers his standard, unimpressive, nice guy shtick- a performance he is very good at, it’s just not hugely stand-out – but as the film, and Oscar, take a darker tone, Sudeikis subtly shifts gear, moving into menace and threat. It is an unstable performance, shifting suddenly and violently between nice guy and monster A man unhappy with his life, Oscar the bar owner is a thin veneer of respectability and decency wrapped around a cruel, narcissistic bully. Sudeikis brilliantly shows the veneer cracking, splitting and revealing the monster that inhabits the man. It is a very impressive performance.

The dark themes, twisted characters and bonkers premise was never going to be completed satisfactorily, and it isn’t. The plot demands the mystery is resolved and the threat dealt with and the film does so, but not as neatly or imaginatively as you might hope. It proves impossible to reconcile the two parts of the story, monster in Seoul and monster in soul, in a way that serves both threads well. It is hard to root for Gloria as she finally steps up the the heroine role the monster in Seoul story thread demands, because we’ve seen she’s really a bit of a hopeless, selfish, drunken, stupid girl.

Colossal is imaginative, flawed film blessed with exceptional performances from Stevens, Hathaway and especially Sudeikis. It is not a comedy, it is not a monster movie (though there are loads of loving homages in shots and music cues), it is not an indie redemption movie, it is all of those things together, and it is not a total success, but nor is it a total failure. It is a curiosity, and if you are cinematically curious, you should check it out.

Overall Grade: B-

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Hear our podcast review on Extra Film:

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Director: Seth Gordon
Writers: Damian Shannon & Mark Swift
Stars: Dwayne Johnson, Zac Efron, Alexandra Daddario

Synopsis: Devoted lifeguard Mitch Buchanan butts heads with a brash new recruit. Together, they uncover a local criminal plot that threatens the future of the Bay.

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Dwayne Johnson was once described as “franchise Viagra.” Now that statement may seem a tad far fetched but it was and kinda still holds true. If The Rock is thrown into a movie that movie is almost guaranteed to crack a billion dollars. The G.I. Joe franchise, the Fast and Furious franchise, literally anything that The Rock is shoehorned into will grow into some sort of success for Hollywood and their pockets. Sadly his massive pectoral muscles and pearly white smile is not enough to save the absolute disaster that is Baywatch. Baywatch serves as a clear example for why people think that cinema is dying and the film does not deserve the monster box office numbers it will more than likely achieve.

When devoted, overly sensational lifeguard Mitch Buchanan (Dwayne Johnson) is forced to take a young, reckless pretty boy Matt Brody (Zac Efron) under his wing, the lifeguard crew of Baywatch discovers that there is crime afoot. Drugs, murder and scandal wash up on Mitch’s shore, he and his team must work together to bring down the force that threatens their beach. There is absolutely nothing redeemable about Baywatch, everything about this lackluster comedy is just cringe inducing.

First and foremost the comedy can hardly be described as comedy. Each joke whether it be some sort of insult or outlook on a situation, is a complete misfire. Attempting to achieve laughs through offensiveness and vulgarity, the film tries to play on the mindset of the millennial crowd. This film is clearly made for an incredibly niche audience and only a fraction of the population will find the jokes funny. Whether it be penis, butt or boob jokes, to “obliviously avoiding racist comments”, whatever angle the filmmakers try to approach the comedy is just a complete and utter disgrace.

Something that the audience can barely rip from the films heartless core is the character interaction. The dashing good looks of the cast helps with this and the entire cast practically pops on screen. However this element of seduction does not last longer than the films first ten minutes. The movie begins digging its own grave from the moment the film starts and right up until the film ends, it is constantly attempting to claw itself out of this six foot deep hole. The movie constantly tries to keep itself socially relevant by making a few jabs at social issues from time to time but just falls completely flat. When they attempt to be progressive they actually set themselves even further back. Baywatch is the cinematic equivalent of eating McDonalds, you know you don’t want to eat it but since it is always being thrown in your face you may as well just take a bite.

Baywatch tries to recreate the “buddy cop” element that works so well in comedies like 21 Jump Street or Men In Black. Sadly they completely forget to make us care about the characters in the slightest way. Baywatch throws so many characters in our face at once that it is way too difficult to have any sort of emotional connection with them. Each “emotional” scene is completely fabricated and as an audience member you could not care less about what happens to the lifeguards on Baywatch.

With a grudgingly long two hour runtime, the film barely pulls a snicker out of its audience. From ridiculous plot points, like Johnson’s characters not wearing sandals anymore, to Efron having to lift up another man’s private parts, the film is absolutely repulsive in so many different ways. With no character connection, completely fabricated emotional moments and just plain horrible jokes, Baywatch is easily already the biggest flop of 2017. From the first moments to the last, the film is constantly trying to save itself from drowning but sadly no lifeguards are around to perform CPR on the monstrosity that is Seth Gordon’s Baywatch.

Overall Grade: F

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