We are continuing our Top 5 lists of the year, as we look into our Top 5 Worst Movies of 2013. So far, we’ve already looked into our Top 5 Movie Surprises and our Top 5 Movie Disappointments, but this one probably won’t be as fun. It’s never a good night when you walk out of the theater knowing that you probably wasted two hours of your life that you’ll never get back.
Disappointments differ in the sense, that they aren’t necesarrily bad movies, but films that didn’t live up to hype or expectations. These movies, however, are just bad, regardless of expectations. Maybe you had some expectations for these films, but we didn’t really have any. These films were just poorly executed and left a bad taste in your mouth afterwards. Overall, while 2013 had it’s fair share of disappointments, this year didn’t have nearly as many really bad films. The “good” list far outweighs the “bad”, but there were some that just left you shaking your head and we have them listed below.
That being said, let’s get into it and go over our Top 5 Worst Movies of 2013.
5) Riddick
Riddick was hard to get through. While some of the action sequences were descent, the visuals weren’t that great and some of the acting was pretty cheesy. Most of the characters are unlikable and the story isn’t that engaging. And the one part that was, they destroyed it. The graphic violence seemed unnecessary and forced. Overall, there’s just not much joy here outside a few small things. If you’re a big Riddick fan, then you may like this, but if not, this is a hard film to watch. Click here to read our full review
4) The Counselor
The Counselor also fits under our “disappointments” category, given the cast and director we have here. However, this film is more appropriate here. While there was some well shot scenes and the score is absolutely gorgeous, overall this film is ridiculously arduous and way too melodramatic. The story is confusing, unfocused and an absolute mess. Cameron Diaz is miscast and doesn’t quite have the chops to pull of the character she’s given. And the dialogue is written for a presidential speech, not normal life speech. This movie feels like it was thrown together in two hours and only wanted to draw emotion for no reason. Click here to read our full review.
3) A Good Day to Die Hard
The fifth film in the franchise, A Good Day to Die Hard may have been a good day to stay home and not waste your money. This film takes Die Hard to a ridiculous level. This time in Russia (because why not?), John McClain somehow finds a way to get into more trouble and has to find a way to take down the bad guys. Is this overplayed yet? The story in third act becomes so over-the-top that it’s one of the worst things we’ve seen all year. In fact, the film is only at #3, because the last two films somehow (have no idea how) find a way to top it, but it’s arguably at the top as well. Easily, the worst in this franchise. Click here to read our full review.
2) Olympus Has Fallen
Olympus Has Fallen insulted my intelligence on a level I’ve never experienced before. This is a crazy premise to begin with, we know, but to execute it the way they did, was absolutely absurd. The film is basically the script of Die Hard, has the theme of Modern Warfare 2, and tries to have the feel of Pearl Harbor. However, it fails miserably at all three. The visuals are some of the worst you’ll ever seen in modern cinema and looked like something out of 1994. Gerard Butler is the only thing that saves this film from being completely unwatchable. And that’s pushing it. The way this movie tries to be something it’s not, while pretending you’re an idiot, makes this movie the worst experience we had in theaters this year. Click here to read our full review.
1) Movie 43
Okay, this really shouldn’t even count. While it’s really just a bunch of movie shorts that is edited together for a feature length film, it still technically counts. Most of the material is far from funny, it crosses the line many times and has zero taste. How they got all these great actors to participate, is beyond me. We have no idea what they were thinking with this or what the purpose was, but it’s an absolute disaster. Movie 43 did have a few things that worked and the basketball short was actually really funny. Outside of that though, the rest of this is crude, offensive and unwatchable. In fact, it was so bad, we actually didn’t even write a review because we didn’t want to waste our time. That, and it was released before our website officially launched in January. If you haven’t seen, please don’t waste your time (other than the basketball short, that one is worth seeking out). If you have seen it, I’m sorry.
While we never discussed Movie 43 on our podcast, we did discuss all of these other films. You can listen to all of them by clicking here and browsing the episodes to find where we discussed them.
While all of these films are bad, 2013 was more enjoyable than bad, meaning we don’t have many honorable mentions. White House Down can almost make this list too but it’s premise is much more plausible than Olympus Has Fallen and the dynamics between Jamie Foxx and Channing Tatum were a lot more fun than anything in OHF too. Oldboy is also a good honorable mention. The film really lacked the focus and heart of Chan-woo Park’s original. After Earth is an honorable mention as well, although it’s miles above the rest on this list though. It still lacked many things and only shows how much Will Smith and director M. Night Shyamalan has fallen from grace. And the last honorable mention is the first two hours of The Lone Ranger. The last 20 minutes should be it’s own short film as it’s a completely different movie than the first two hours. The first two hours is awful, unnecessary and an absolute borefest. Movie 43 and Olympus Has Fallen easily takes home the bacon for this list though for all the reasons we mentioned. Hopefully you’re experiences with them were better than ours, but for us, these two films are easily the worst we’ve seen in 2013.
Let me know what you think. Do you agree or disagree? I’d like to know why. Leave a comment in the comment section below or tweet me @InSessionFilm.
