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Movie Review: ‘Halloween Ends’ On The Worst Note

Movie Review: ‘Halloween Ends’ On The Worst Note

Director: David Gordon Green
Writer: Paul Brad Logan
Stars: Jamie Lee Curtis, Andi Matichak, James Jude Courtney

Synopsis: The saga of Michael Myers and Laurie Strode comes to a spine-chilling climax in this final installment of this trilogy.

I am a Halloween fanatic, not just the film but the season, the holiday, the weather, everything. October, and all of its belongings, is by far the best time of the year. The weather is cooler (on the east coast at least. Sorry west coast, you fail here) the leaves have fallen, they crunch under your feet, and it’s time for all things scary. A go to for the season is obviously scary movies and the holy grail has been, since 1978, Halloween. With many ups and downs in the series and after a series high of Halloween Kills, this new film to bring in the spooky season is not only a low, but a new low in the series, and this is a series that includes Halloween 6 and Halloween Resurrection.

SPOILERS GOING FORWARD. 

The Halloween franchise is a true “choose your own adventure” as there are now 5 separate timelines happening. There’s the Rob Zombie timeline, the Jamie Lloyd timeline, the Halloween 3: Season of the Witch Standalone timeline, the siblings timeline, and now the Laurie Strode timeline. It can be exhausting if you go into these the first time and you’re not aware. In 2017, the unthinkable happened, something none of us ever thought would happen again, the announcement of the long awaited return of Jamie Lee Curtis to the franchise. This time in the hands of Blumhouse, hope filled the air and then in 2018, when released, I was overwhelmed with “meh”. The 2018 version was a let down and I was left wanting an actual Halloween film. This was a convoluted script that had more plot holes than answers and was just not what was being advertised. Then in 2020, my sources on the set sent me the shooting script and I was READY! This was the best Halloween on paper in a long time, brutal Michael Myers just oozed from the page, and it was as a lifelong fan what I had been craving and missing from the 2018 film, then COVID hit and I was sitting on this script for over a year, impatiently waiting to see the final product on the screen and I was not disappointed, finally the Halloween franchise was back and on top with a series high film. I was pumped for the final chapter a year later, and then I saw the film last night and it all came crashing down.

Halloween Ends is not a Halloween film at all, in fact it barely registers as a part of this Laurie Strode saga at all. Okay, let me  put it this way- whoever is in charge of marketing is smart as hell because they have been lying to you the entire time. This film is not about Laurie Strode, it’s not even about Michael Myers. In a fourth film in a saga about Laurie and Michael they are secondary characters, in fact they’re barely in the film. This was a swing and a huge miss that actually feels like a slap in the face and super disrespectful to not only these characters, but also the fans who have invested their hard earned money and time into this, and I cannot fathom how this story was allowed to be made. This is the type of swing they should’ve tried for the 2018 version to see if it worked, not to end this timeline on. Once they realize this doesn’t work, you have to earn the trust back from the fans and correct it in the sequel, an impossibility now. This film isn’t a Halloween film, it’s 10% Halloween, 10% Batman and Robin,and 80% Romeo and Juliet, I’m not kidding….

The movie is about a character named Corey Cunningham who becomes the town pariah after accidentally killing the kid he’s babysitting on Halloween night, 2019; one year after the events of the last two films. The film jumps to 2022 and we find Corey the outcast being the new stain on the town of Haddonfield. We see Laurie, who is now embracing the Halloween spirit living with her granddaughter in a new home in town. We see her sporadically but she’s got nothing to do with the story until the end. In the meantime, Corey meets Allyson, Laurie’s granddaughter and the two begin a romantic relationship. We see the return of Lindsay Wallace wasted as a bartender cameo, “Hey Linds-” oh nevermind she’s gone… Now we’re stuck watching Corey fight his personal feelings of hatred with the town and falling for Allyson, all while getting beat up by high schoolers (I wish I was joking). They throw him off a bridge and when he lands with a thud he’s then dragged into the sewers by Pennywise the clown, it has to be, it’s- oh no, it’s Michael Myers who apparently has been living in a sewer for the last four years. But wait, Corey wakes up and Michael begins to choke him out until- MICHAEL LOOKS INTO HIS EYES AND HAS A THAT’S SO RAVEN VISION AND SEES HIMSELF IN COREY….. I wish I was making this up. Michael lets Corey go, which makes Corey wonder why and then I KID YOU NOT- Corey becomes Michael’s sidekick…. BRO WHAT?!?! But I lied actually, Michael becomes COREY’S sidekick, yes you read that right. Corey begins killing people who have wronged him, and Michael tags along. At one point in the movie, Corey beats up Michael and steals his mask, puts it on, and on Halloween night IS A COPYCAT KILLER. 

WHO ALLOWED THIS TO BE GREEN LIT!?!?!?! How does this at all, introducing this new character in a FOURTH MOVIE of this saga, to end the story of Michael and Laurie have anything to do with what’s been set up to be finished? It’s truly like the writers said “ we don’t know what else to do. Here, let’s try this, and just make Laurie and her story the secondary back burner plot”. It’s awful, but wait- guess who shows up at the Strode house? Michael? No. Corey in the mask, who is instantly shot by Laurie, but who’s here now? Michael to retrieve his mask and okay, sure now you can fight to the death…

This was bad, this shouldn’t have been the final chapter, this is genuinely the worst Halloween film ever made because it’s not a Halloween, Michael Myers film. I cannot fathom how Jamie Lee Curtis read this script and said “ yes, this is how it should go down”. It makes no sense. It is a slap in the face to the fans, and we deserve better. Please for the love of God, hire someone who actually understands this series to write a script for a future film because this ain’t it. 

So long, goodbye. Will never watch this again. 

Grade – F

Stand-Up Comic, Writer, International Sex Symbol, Indie Spirit Award Voter, Future EGOT Winner, EgoManic, First Born Prodigal Disappointment- these are the many ways that I've been described by myself and others. I like Halloween, a good debate, and a man to have steady adult sleepovers with. I dislike summer, the heat, the sun, and children. Glenn Close is my mortal enemy and if I ever wind up missing check her house first.... I am also creator and co-host of Academy Queens, an Oscars themed podcast with my partner Brandon Stanwyck, an LGBT look into the Oscars per decade per category. We are one of iTunes' featured "Best Film History" podcast and we run a super sweet twitter account @academy_queens

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