Each decade brings us its own version of youthful scandal, on campus spells, and alluring witchcraft. Read on for some timeless onscreen magic for any generation.
The Craft
Catholic school outcasts Robin Tunney (Empire Records), Neve Campbell (Scream), Fairuza Balk (Return to Oz), Rachel True (Half & Half), and more familiar nineties faces anchor the budding light versus dark magic, revenge, and consequences in this 1996 fan favorite. Candles, pentagrams, color lighting, goth fashions, chanting, rituals, and blood provide heaps of mood to match all the blessed be and light as a feather stiff as a board enchantment. A magic shoppe and edgy hip tunes (including the subsequent theme to Charmed) make Wicca cool with glamours, beauty spells, and love charms before the rustic villa turns dark and dangerous with broken mirrors, snakes, and invoking duels. School bullies and creepy stepdads pay the price as the girl power magic in us all simplicity eventually turns into darker fears, peer pressure, body harm, family deaths, and suicide. Our selfish teenagers ignore what comes back to you in threes and take their power too far. The commentary on teens in pain with scars (both physical and unseen), however, falls apart like Tunney’s infamously bad wig. French class insults and out of control school boys are stereotypical and unnecessary. These dated quips, music cues, and montages are designed for snappy TV spots and internet memes. Their parents are clueless, deaths never bring forth the authorities, and the whooshing and binding finale set piece is overlong. Fortunately, the frenemy queen bee violence versus embracing who you are vibes remain entertaining for a Gen X late night.
Satan’s School for Girls
Pamela Franklin (The Legend of Hell House) investigates the mysterious suicides at the not so idyllic “Salem Academy” led by classy yet suspicious Jo Van Fleet (East of Eden) in this dated, over-the-top 1973 cult special. Charlie’s Angels Kate Jackson and Cheryl Ladd feel a little old for this Massachusetts campus that’s clearly filmed in California, but dangerous drives, screams, and unseen scares hit the ground running. Ominous lantern light and the rural spooky atmosphere are likewise bemusing and nostalgic thanks to phone booths, feathered hair, colorful hippie styles, and classic cars. Girls are snooping where they shouldn’t in creepy buildings and cluttered basements amid rustic antiques, red hints, shadowy stairs, storm outages, and lightning strikes. The hanging legends, witchy tales, and colonial timelines, however, don’t make much sense. So-called undercover investigations fall into soap opera melodramatics, inexplicable plot turns, hysterics, or jumping to conclusions as needed. Fortunately, the ritual robes, fun surprises, and fiery shockers remain entertaining to the end as eerie artwork and brainwashing desperation culminate in gunpoint confrontations, drownings, and sacrifices.
Teen Witch
On her sixteenth birthday, Robyn Lively’s (Twin Peaks) dowdy Louise Miller learns her true calling as a reincarnated witch in this enchanting 1989 Teen Wolf for girls time warp. Thanks to Zelda Rubinstein’s (Poltergeist) Madame Serena mentor and a newfound magical amulet; Louise casts spells to become beautiful, date the quarterback, and be the most popular girl in school. Ironically, her natural look before the transformation is better than the woefully garish post-Reagan smorgasbord brimming with fluorescent ruffles, denim on denim, glitter, hideous patterns, feathered mullets, and high hairspray. Music video style montages, locker room singalongs, steamy saxophones, and a totally catchy, guilty pleasure soundtrack accent the bitchy frienemies, clueless yuppie parents, and sexist teachers who get their comeuppance thanks to a voodoo doll and the car wash. Relatable teen angst, memorable magic gone awry, and a likable ensemble create layered wit and sassy vignettes complete with a little romance and a big dance-off finale. By today’s standards, the comedy and any serious consequences are treated completely innocently, and the plot is so typical it’s almost unimportant. However, the endearing simplicity means audiences young and old can revisit this charming time capsule.
The Witch
Big hats, white collars, and thee versus thou banishments establish the ye olde of this 2015 simmering 17th century Puritan horror from writer and director Robert Eggers (Nosferatu). Natural lighting shows the harsh, unyielding lands and authentic thatch buildings provide rural ambiance as the devotions turn desperate thanks to failing crops, bloody eggs, abductions, and babies in peril. Spooky forests, fireside red lighting, nudity, ravens, and primal rituals are only seen in hazy splices while Anya Taylor-Joy (Furiosa) as young Thomasin prays directly to the camera for her perceived sins. She questions how an innocent baby can be guilty amid scripture heavy dialogue and parents who remained shadowed with dirt and impurity. Increasing animal problems, hopeless trading, and starvation leads to more parental tension and debates on sending the children away from the humble hovel. Unbothered while Tomasin does all the harshest work, her younger twin siblings chant sing songs with their goat Black Phillip, creating bloody extremes and fatal misunderstandings. Ominous lanterns, alluring witchcraft, and bloodlettings stir the finger pointing hysterics and exorcism-esque prayers. Apparitions of the dead seem as angels, and the devil answers their zealous fears. Bewitching period visuals provide what you don’t see doubts – escalating to maniacal screams in a deliriously delicious finale to this surreal folktale.
