Director: Addison Heimann
Writer: Addison Heimann
Stars: Olivia Taylor Dudley, Lou Taylor Pucci, Jordan Gavaris
Synopsis: Two codependent best friends become addicted to the heroin-like touch of an alien narcissist who may or may not be trying to take over the world.
When a film starts with a nearly ten minute monologue, you know whether or not you’re going to like it. In that time, the character delivering the monologue will give you different facets of their personality, the actor performing it will show you the character’s tics, mannerisms, and sense of self, and the writer will tell you everything you need to know about the set up of the film. Starting a film like this is a bold choice because you’re beginning with static. If the actor, the dialogue, and the camera work is up to the challenge, this could be a very effective opening. Touch Me shows us that trying to set up a psychosexual horror comedy in this way is terrifically ineffective. This film is an attempt at traumedy that fails to get off the ground.
There is nothing bad about attempting a comedy that builds its humor out of a character’s traumatic experiences. It can even be very well done such as Eva Victor’s Sorry, Baby and Ally Pankiw’s I Used to be Funny. Though, where those films are grounded and multidimensional, Touch Me is just not. The problem is that it is firmly tongue-in-cheek without any sense of the character’s humanity beyond the walls they put up with ruthless self-deprecation. Their trauma becomes one dimensional and even when they achieve a form of catharsis, it rings so false because there is nothing beyond this “personality” they’ve developed. Joey (Olivia Taylor Dudley) and Craig (Jordan Gavaris) seem more like the personification of emotions than actual characters.
It doesn’t help that the story revolves around an alien being who has a “heroin touch” that makes you feel instantly better. This gives Joey and Craig an instant excuse for any poor behavior they might exhibit. That alien conceit is part of the package, but it would work just as well with a human cult leader drugging them.
So much of the alien aspect of the film is completely unexplained despite how important it all seems to be. It’s especially important to Joey as Brian (Lou Taylor Pucci), the alien, tells her he’s here to save the world through correcting climate change. As the film goes on, though, and the true nature of Brian is revealed, the plot holes just get bigger and bigger. In a mirror of the opening monologue, Joey is back in therapy telling the whole tale to her therapist, who breaks in with valid questions about the presence and purpose of the alien. The fact that writer Addison Heimann uses this device to ask all of our questions for us isn’t a clever way of getting on our side, but a way to show how lazy the mechanics of this alien plot were and how that laziness is inherent in the entire structure of the film and its characters.
The one bright spot of the film is Lou Taylor Pucci’s performance as Brian. He plays otherworldly himbo like he was born to it. One plot point that is pretty funny is that Brian often processes his thoughts and emotions through hip hop dancing. In these scenes, Pucci shows a physicality and commitment that is top notch. His dancing is lively and seductive as it should be, but it also is wonderfully funny in its precision. Pucci is the only part of Touch Me worth watching.
It’s obvious that Touch Me was written to encompass some big ideas. This film takes major swings and tries very hard to mine comedy from some traumatic stories. Yet, the attempt this film makes at a grand narrative of truth about how we’re all screwed up and need to find a way to move forward ends up being the maudlin drunk who stops the party flat. The film can’t get over how much it hates itself to give us a reason to love it.
