Director: Peter Atencio
Writers: Kevin Biegel and Scotty Landes
Stars: Bert Kreischer, Mark Hamill, Jimmy Tatro
Synopsis: Bert’s drunken past catches up with him 20 years down the road when he and his father are kidnapped by those Bert wronged 20 years ago while drunk on a college semester abroad in Russia.
Something that catches the short attention span of humans in the 21st century will likely be forgotten by the majority of us about an hour after we see it. We’ll see it again when someone shows it to us and we’ll agree with them that it’s a very funny thing. After about five or so viewings, it loses the spark. After a month, it’s likely gone. Then it’s three or four years later and there’s a movie adaptation because a producer saw the story potential and needed the rights to it, but film production is glacial compared to the internet. so It’s far too late. The moment has passed. So, here’s The Machine, a film that expands the world of a very funny story comedian Bert Kreischer tells during his stand up act that was captured on video and went viral.
The story is funny enough. Kreischer is funny when telling it. Yet, this new adventure Bert goes on is just O.K. The reason it never elevates beyond its source material is because it wants to be something more than just a wacky story. There is an emotional throughline in the film that is never earned. At one point Bert’s eldest daughter has an outburst at her birthday party. She starts crying and rather than the scene feeling real, it’s too intimate, too early. It’s stuck to the narrative like gum on a shoe.
This odd feeling is perpetuated by a lack of score in some of the beginning where jokes are supposed to be vulnerable and from a dark place, but fall flat. Without something underneath the tension never resolves. The jokes land with a thud. They’re funny and you know they’re funny, but unlike in the best kinds of cringe comedy, there’s not that good timing or reaction. It’s a bit of a Mike Myers effect where in the early scenes Bert has to be the only one who’s funny and the one who gets the best lines. Without music or a reaction to underscore it, he just looks like a complete jerk.
There are other pieces that don’t really fit as well. It’s mostly the action scenes. They are superbly choreographed and shot very well. They just don’t fit. They feel entirely tacked onto the film like they can be cut out and used for someone’s demo reel. Director Peter Atnecio already has a reputation as an action comedy director, but maybe he’s disappointed Marvel hasn’t brought him on for a project yet. The fight scenes make sense when Bert and Albert (Mark Hamill) get into it with some foes, but there’s no real need for so much Irina (Iva Babic) in full Black Widow mode kicking henchman keister some place else.
What is a delight to see is Mark Hamill. Hamill is so rarely given the opportunity to show off his talent outside of a Star War or some heightened version of himself that he’s a refreshing presence. He’s got such excellent comedic timing and he plays the nitpicking father so well. He’s the highlight of the film for sure.
There are enough laugh out loud one liners that the film isn’t utterly unwatchable. The Machine wants to be the kind of phenomenon that people talk about and word of mouth spreads, but it just doesn’t have the legs the original viral video had. Too much of it tries to be something it’s not, like an all out action film or an emotionally tinged comedy. It’s just so so, which can be a nice distraction from the summer heat.
