Charlie Sheen was well known for his 80s dramas before his Anger Management comeback and subsequent tiger blood infamy. However, he also has an eclectic body of fun, undeservedly forgotten pictures.
Men at Work
Writer, director, and brother Emilio Estevez (The Mighty Ducks) joins Charlie as garbage men stumbling onto a dead councilman’s body on their morning route in this 1990 comedy full of familiar faces, terrible mullets, and golf claps. Goofy morning disc jockeys and laid back tunes anchor the trash can Frisbee montages amid coworker pranks, obnoxious bicycle cops, incriminating cassette switcharoos, and dreams of opening a surf shop instead of sniffing bras found in the bins. Our brothers finishing each other’s punchlines chemistry meets its match when the thriving on misery Keith David (The Thing) is assigned to observe their garbage route, and thus the unintended chases, tasers, blown up cars, and Rear Window zaniness escalates. Shooting a jerk in the butt with their pellet gun inadvertently helps hit men whose car license plate says HIT MEN, and an $8 pepperoni extra cheese delivery wrangles the pizza guy into the stakeout. The dead body sits at the table in a Nixon mask, and bumbling, ridiculous summaries of what the hell has happened on this wacky night don’t woo the sophisticated campaign babe Leslie Hope (24). Unfortunately, there are crazed Vietnam veteran stereotypes, homophobia, and racist Asian jokes. The toxic waste framework is unnecessary, an overlong attempt at a serious environmental message that isn’t as good as the fourth wall self-awareness. Unrealistic action set pieces deviate from the lighthearted strengths for a dumb turnabout on the sleazy 80s villain. There’s no resolution to the crimes either – no on the news fame or surf shop achievement – but at least the morning call-in radio show bemusingly advises the girlfriend of the pizza delivery man to dump him for not coming home last night.
No Man’s Land
Before there was The Fast and The Furious, All-American D.B. Sweeney (The Cutting Edge) went undercover to stop car thief Charlie Sheen in this 1987 yarn written and produced by Dick Wolf (Law & Order). Thanksgiving and station wagons contrast the cold criminal abode, industrial chop shops, and hot Porsches while edgy scoring sets the seedy, underbelly mood. Our rookie is immediately in over his head befriending the alluring, slick Sheen in his bad boy element. He doesn’t have to steal cars but chooses to only lift Porsches amid dangerous curves, precarious passing, and speeding dares. Cameras alongside peeling tires and under flipping accidents are impressive; jagged metal crashes, squealing rubber, and shattered windows sound perilous. These ill-gotten highway pursuits feel dirty with real car keys, vintage cash rolls, and giant car phones. Between the luxury Christmas shopping and deepening seduction, our golden boy loses sight of the case and glows up for the worse – tarnished and taking too many risks in trying to nab seven cars in one day. Slip ups, surprises, corruption, and covers blown lead to police interrogations and accomplices found dead on the toilet. Neon night clubs and synth tunes belie the careful elimination of our syndicate rival, for no one notices a shooting on the strobe dance floor. The set ups go far beyond the original crime that necessitated the undercover scheme, and the well-done drama becomes increasingly warped and dark despite the holiday decorations. Even daytime scenes disappear as the who knows but isn’t saying lies and who’s on what side confessions mean the downfall happens quickly and the murders mount. Our villain vows to do what he has to do until the end, and the Christmas Eve shootouts result in a gritty, compelling potboiler.
The Rookie
Two years before Clint Eastwood would helm Unforgiven, he directed this preposterous police thriller in 1990. Laughably cliché opening dreams and a childhood accident past clutter a slow, overlong two hours that needed a much more snappy pace. The swanky music and perilous highway action should get to the casino standoffs, surprise shootings, hostages, home invasion twists, explosions, and airport chases much sooner. Initially, it’s tough to accept Charlie Sheen as a decaf drinking good cop, but he’s soon burning down the bar and taking the rogue cop action extremely seriously. Likewise, cigar chewing Eastwood seems too old for the would-be Dirty Harry set pieces as the veteran sergeant who already lost one partner and doesn’t want to babysit another. Although Tom Skeritt (Alien), Lara Flynn Boyle (The Practice), and more familiar faces make for a memorable ensemble, unfortunately there are questionable ethnic stereotypes doing a disservice to juicy villain Raul Julia (The Addams Family) and largely silent dominatrix Sonia Braga (Kiss of the Spider Woman). The video-taped bound sex scene with Braga having her way over Eastwood is also erroneously treated as hot despite his lack of consent. This takes an hour to get good and fully embrace the humor with the now grizzled Sheen ultimately receiving his own wet behind the ears rookie. Fans of the cast can have fun with this buddy cop lark as if it’s a comedy lampooning the genre thanks to vintage motorcycles driven through the house, sweet cars flying out the windows, cheesy performances, and kitschy one-liners a minute.
